-Save me from myself-

+Save me from myself+

I learned to cry without noise
I learned to scream loud without voice
I learned to be colorfully invisible
But i cant learn not to love you
To shout my pain out
I cant learn how to watch
Neither listen nor wait
I havent learned how not to live in pain

Sometimes i think i deserve death
As if ive killed someone
For my hands are always stained in red
I think i deserve to tear and mix my guilt
And stay in black
I may deserve to cry for eternity if i made you harm

Sometimes i think i can handle it
As if ive got something to hold
For my soul's always heavy and cold
I think i deserve guilt and then mix it with reality
And stay where's always black
I may deserve to die if i made you harm

I learned to hurt without touching
I learned to cry while still laughing
I learned to be masoquist
But i cant learn to stop it all
Not to fix whats done
I cant learn how to think
Neither wait and stop bleeding
I havent learned how not to kill myself

Sometimes id like to be saved
As if id deserve it
For my past is always mixed in lies
I think id like to forgive myself
And wash away this black
But i deserve to burn in hell if i made you harm

Sometimes id like to be free
As if i were always chained to be
For my thoughts are always running
I think id like to breath
But im always under water
And i deserve to stay like this if i made you harm

I wish i could learn how to heal my own wounds
I wish i could learn how to cry for help
I wish i could learn how to make you happy
But im so bloodstained
Not to fill if its not with pain
I cant learn how to smile
If its not for you, if its not what you want
I havent learned how to free myself